How ungradeful can you get?

I mentioned a few posts ago that we’d had our annual assessment from visitscotland to decide what grading we should be given.. The assessor was very impressed by all the work we had done, commended us on our good work and said that although we could only be two star because we don’t provide telephones in the rooms, it would be a “very strong two star”.

The grading report arrived yesterday. It’s done by a series of check boxes. Each feature of the hotel is given a grade with the overall grade being determined by the lowest score. We were graded on twenty seven categories. Six scored 4, Fourteen scored 3, six scored 2 and one (external paintwork) scored 1.

But because the overall grade is determined by the lowest grade, we are designated one star, the same as we were two years ago.

So we’ve virtually rebuilt the place, refurnished it, recarpeted it, repainted it, but as far as visitscotland are concerned, there has been no improvement.

Does any of this matter? Probably not. Very few customers actually book our rooms through visitscotland - the majority come to us either through laterooms or directly with us after viewing our website. We’d be better off aiming to please our customers than a wee man with a clipboard.

Meanwhile I’ve been redesigning the window sticker from visitscotland. What do you think?

Now, the question is - should I put this in my menu box in place of the “official” one? I await feedback with interest:-)

Just another manic Monday

What’s the stupidest thing that a restaurant could run out of? Wine? Waitress pads? These silly wee Physallis that we put next to our puddings?
How about potatoes?
Let me explain. It’s been quite quiet recently and the 10Kg of potatoes I’d bought about a week ago had started to sprout. This is a bad thing if you’re making mash because the sprouting causes the starch in the potatoes to turn to sugar and your mash starts to resemble wallpaper paste.
So I’d cut back a bit on the ordering. There were enough potatoes. Mondays are quiet - maybe one or two guests deciding to eat in, that’s all.

We had 11 guests. They ALL ate in.

Well, 10 of them did. We have a group of four workmen with us. One of them looked at the menu, snorted and went to the chippie. The other three ordered. One curry, one cottage pie, one steak. Cottage pie is topped with POTATO.

A single guest came in for dinner. Non resident. Had cottage pie which I think I mentioned contains an element of potato. By now, the fairly modest amount of mash I’d made was running low. I peeled the last three potatoes and put them on to boil.

A group of five golfers are staying with us for a couple of days. One ordered chicken (which has mash with it) and the other four ordered cottage pie. Have I mentioned the potato aspect of this dish?

Oh, and they wanted chips with them.

A quick peek into the pot revealed that there was not enough mash left for this. I boiled about half the chips I’d cut earlier in the evening (they’re all made of the same kind of potato) and mashed them. This left us seriously short of chips, but never mind…

The final two guests turned up. One wanted salmon, the other wanted - all together now - COTTAGE PIE!

The salmon at least is served with baby potat… WHAT!? SHE WANTS CHIPS WITH IT! AAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!

The amount of potato left in the pot would not fill a teaspoon. There are no chips left. Tomorrow the kitchen is closed. Good Night.

You’ll have had your tea…

I kinow I usually make unhappy noises about having five of my six creme brulees left at the end of the week, but this week they’ve all gone - in two days! We had eight happy diners tonight and we’re full until Friday. This is pretty good going for late September. Only six weeks until our holiday.

We won’t mention the rugby…

More ways of selling rooms lately

We’ve been using an online selling agent since July last year. I’m sure you know the one I mean. Up until now our sales have been on “referral”.. What does that mean? Well, pay attention, here’s what happens:

Customer goes to website of popular online booking agent. Customer, being a discerning type, chooses the Spread Eagle Hotel. Customer is then given a booking number and told to phone said booking agent who call us to see if we actually have the room available.

All very well and good, but rooms sold this way are not given the highest priority by the agent. There are two alternatives. One is scary, the other less so.

The scary one is called “freesale” If you set (say) a double room to freesale on a particular date then the website will allow an unlimited number of bookings of this type of room regardless of how many you actually have. This is used by huge hotels with hundreds of rooms who are unlikely to sell out (or who use the dubious practice of overselling).

The third method is called “allocation” and it’s what we’ve been trying this week. For each type of room and each date, you allocate a certain number for sale. While an allocation exists, customers can book directly through the website without having to call anyone. Once the allocation is used up the room goes back onto referral.

We put a couple of double rooms on allocation last week and this morning the first direct booking popped into our inbox. This afternoon a second one arrived to keep it company. This could be a useful thing during the quiet winter months.

It’s looking like a busy weekend and quite a few of our guests have gone for the dinner b&b option. It’s useful to know in advance that we’ll have some folk in for dinner.

Foot to mouth existence

We’re supposed to have six guests tonight and we have two. The reason the rest cancelled is that they were due to attend the Kelso ram sales which have of course been cancelled due to the latest foot and mouth outbreak. The two who did come were going to the ram sale as well, but decided to come anyway.

The inspector from visitscotland came to have a look around the hotel today and declared that we could never be given three stars because we don’t have phones in the rooms.

We actually installed cabling for telephones as part of the upgrading last year. We didn’t install a telephone system though because we were advised that “No one ever uses them - waste of money”.

And who gave us that advice? Why the previous visitscotland inspector of course! Pretty well par for the course for an organisation which is recognised at home and throughout the world as a complete and utter waste of space. Mention their name to any accommodation provider in the country and you’ll get an exasperated laugh and rolled eyes.

As we did on Tuesday when we had a day off and visited the Wheatsheaf in Swinton. It’s renowned throughout the Borders and beyond, which is just as well because there is very little other reason to visit Swinton (other than that my Mum used to live there). They use Active Hotels and the one we use that begins with an L. Their occupancy is over 90%!

Oh and last but not least, we have finally made it into the Good Beer Guide. Cheers!

Sundays

are, frankly, odd. The only days in the past two months when we’ve had NO guests have been Sundays. The weekend was mad busy - the bar was selling by the case things that we usually sell once a month and we had a few diners.

The Sunday comes and apart from a nice couple from Kirriemuir we have no-one at all.
It’s my day off tomorrow, but instead of my usual trip to Edinburgh we’re going out together. Haven’t decided where yet.

Thanks for you comments Aarlene. I thought Americans didn’t do irony:-)

Coincidence

Here’s one for all the statisticians out there.
Yesterday was my 44th birthday (I’m currently in denial, maintaining I’m still 19) and we had a full house. Half way though breakfast two of our guests remembered that it was their wedding anniversary. Their 44th wedding anniversary.
Odds on that happening anyone?

It’s been quite a busy week with, amongst others, eight golfers from Dublin staying with us for five days. We’ve introduced a two night minimum stay dinner b&b package at £170 for two people. OK, I know you can get six weeks in Spain for that price, but it’s still a good deal.

More of the same

Last weekend, being the final bank holiday of the year, was busybusybusy. We served seventeen people on Monday morning - a new record and the maximum that the hotel can currently hold. With few bookings we thought the rest of the week would be quiet, but there were enough chance guests to keep us going.
Charlie/Polly was down yesterday to help with dinners. There were only 7, but her assistance was very welcome.
Here’s a picture - I told you she was camera shy…

Oh, nearly forgot - I tried to order the Old Smokey cheese yet again and they sent “Plain Jane” which isn’t even on the list!